It's not a joke. Officials at the Home Affairs select committee just confirmed to me that its members are planning on going clubbing as part of their investigation into Class A drugs.
Media reports that they were taking soundings on where to go are only half true. They're not, because they already have. Who provided the advice? I asked. 'The staff here, and the police.'
Now the police make sense if you're looking for the most druggy club in London I suppose, although, if that's the case, why did they ask their staff as well? On the other hand, if they're just looking for a fun place, I can understand why they might ask their young staff members – but not why they'd ask the police.
The police are literally the very last people you ask for directions to a fun night out. There's my mother of course, who - as far as I know - has never been clubbing in her life, but the shortlist is, well… short.
I once met a bloke called Ketamine Pete, who only allowed fruit, water and ketamine to pass through his body. They could give him a ring.